
My wife tried to kill me, I swear to you all she did! It was June 18, 1996 and my wife and I had been married a total of 3 days, so technically we where still on the honeymoon right? The company I worked for at the time was not family friendly so I basically got the weekend off for my wedding and that was it. I had been out working in the hot sun all day so I was hot, tired and sweaty when I got home, and my new bride wanting to be the “Betty Crocker” of house wives brought me a tall cold glass of iced sweet tea to me.
Now I was over joyed at this point, the apartment was clean, supper was cooking on the stove and smelt wonderful, so other than being hot, tired and sweaty life was great, I was married and out of the rat race that is the whole dating scene. I was sitting on the couch and sharing with my wife the hellish day I had.
Then I took a drink of the tall, cold glass of sweet ice tea my wife had brought to me. This is where it all came crumbling down around me friends.
At this point you need some history, in the south we pride our selves on the making of our sweet tea and let me just say that no two peoples tea will ever taste the same, the chemical make up is different from tea to tea and, in some cases a person’s sweet tea recipe is a cherished and well protected secret. The tea make up is affected by different things such as brand of tea bag, how may tea bags you use, the water quality that you have access to, type of sugar that is used, amount of sugar that is used, when the sugar is added. Bottom line folks it’s a complicated process and I will argue that when you order you ice tea at a restaurant and you attempt to make it sweet tea by adding 10 million of those little packets of sugar it is not sweet tea it’s tea with a mound of sugar slush at the bottom of the glass. So as I was stepping out of the door, my wife again wanting to be the the perfect southern wife asked me how did “I” make my sweet tea, ok for me to tell this I will have to divulge some of my secret tea recipe however I will not tell all. My reply ” In the coffee maker just put a couple of bags in the glass thing with some sugar and run a full 12 cups of water thought it, that will make a gallon.
Ok so my wife does this, can anyone guess what step she forgot? The sugar some of you might say and you would be wrong, did she forget to put two bags of tea in the coffee pot? Again you would be mistaken, she forgot to remove the filter and coffee grounds from that mornings coffee! So when I took my huge drink of Sweet Iced Tea expecting great things I literally got a double shot of caffeine that almost caused me head to explode not to mention the taste was well let’s just say not good. I would like to say that this was a isolated event but, it wasn’t this same thing happened a couple more times.
Good news is that she has come up with her own process, and I no longer use sugar but have moved on to a substitute in a attempt to remove sugar out of my diet and all is well and we are still married, that’s all that really matters isn’t it?